Something I'll be happy to see the end of

Two years ago, I wrote a post about the misadventures of buying a mattress at Ikea. Every week, about 250-300 people read this entry. Sadly, it's not a particularly interesting piece of writing (nor will this be, I'm afraid, but when I feel a compulsion, I just can't help myself). The comments, however, have been another story. I am, finally, removing this post from this blog, though I presume it'll be cached for a long time, considering it's one of the top hits if one googles Ikea mattresses. Oh, how I'd like to disown that particular post. . .

At first, people left comments about their similar experiences. Then, one person left a nasty comment, and the gloves came off (though I must admit that it wasn't a full-on assault, at the risk of sounding, ahem, oversensitive). Oddly, I am not particularly bothered by the comments, for I agree it was a whiny entry, but still, why on earth do people have the need to leave random nastiness on blogs? Here's a sampling of the things people think it's okay to say to strangers:

"What a whiny biaatcchhh. No kidding there is no help @ Ikea. That's why it's Ikea you airhead dumbass. The gun is in my mouth and I am pulling the trigger after reading her whiny rant."

"Sorry you are too stupid to navigate an Ikea store."

"I love it when people get called out for being idiots."

"You sound WAY over-sensitive."

I'll spare you (and myself) any more than that. I will give one person some credit for spending a considerable amount of time parodying the post, though I won't dignify it more than that by posting it here.

Here's the deal:

1. Yes, I can be sensitive. The horror!

2. Yes, I whine, and go on an on about whatever I'm whining about. What I can't understand is why anyone would read every single word of something that annoys them.

3. I am not particularly humorous.

4. One can be whiny, long winded, and sensitive if your name is David Sedaris, but I am not David Sedaris, nor have I ever pretended to be, as far as I know.

5. I probably shouldn't have written #4 because of #3.

6. When Ikea first opened in the United States, they had helpful employees even though it was mostly a self-service store, and that's the Ikea I remembered. So, sue me for not knowing. I live in Maine.

7. I wake up feeling like crap on any mattress.

8. Considering #7, I now sleep on what's pictured above. It's a ten dollar air mattress with a hospital egg crate mattress topper and an old feather bed on top. Total cost: Ten bucks.

9. I hope I do not post any more whiny rants that invite strangers to be abusive, but simply writing that is probably an invitation.

10. Happy New Year!