Anxious

Preface: If you landed here by accident, saw the Obama graphic and had a bad reaction, please click here to read a conservative's take on why he's voting for Obama. Now, I'll proceed:

I've been upbeat all day. I even listened to Rush Limbaugh and was able to laugh him off, just like I used to.

I should have closed my laptop an hour ago. I could have spent some time studying how to use shortcuts and macros in MS Word for medical transcription. I could have worked on the faux-novel. I could have been meditating. I could be sleeping.

But no. I stayed on the web far too long, long enough to start reading every worst case scenario that could happen tomorrow.

Then I thought, oh, Twitter will make me feel better, but no, it did not, for there are plenty of twitterers (or tweeters or whatever they're called) who write hateful things. I forgot about that.

I read a plausible article about how people who are more conservative are less apt to participate in polls. That freaked me out. Is it possible that all the polls have been wrong? The likelihood of this being true is statistically and logically unlikely, but still, I am anxious.

I worried that the polls in Maine have been wrong, because I've seen so many McCain signs, but I found out the other night that my local campaign office had its signs stolen.

Oddly, that made me feel better the other night, but on this night, it makes me wonder if my vote will be stolen. But I'll be watching, 'cause I'm a poll watcher for the afternoon here in my small town.

I don't think anything will happen here. We do it the old fashioned way - paper ballots. When I moved here, I didn't even know that paper ballots were used any more, except in third world countries. I like paper ballots. I feel like I really voted. There's a pencil and there's a piece of paper that I can hold in my hand. I put a mark in a box and I can even erase it if I've made a mistake.

One year I helped count ballots. We stayed up until after midnight and we only had something like three hundred of those things to count. I don't know how they do it in the larger towns and cities. It must be insane.

But I'm getting off track, as usual. I'm nervous as hell.

I bought a bottle of champagne today. Dick bought a bottle when it was predicted that Kerry might win, and I told him he shouldn't have done it, 'cause I was sure Bush was going to win and I did not want to see that unopened sad bottle of champagne in my refrigerator the day after. I think it was a year until we finally drank it.

I was feeling buoyant, hopeful and full of energy when I was in the market today. I drove home on some roads I'd never been on before and actually got lost. I saw many Obama signs in the town of Hermon, which surprised me. Then I noticed that the houses on this road were pretty fancy and that made me sad.

Why are there so many McCain supporters in the poorer areas of Maine (or any other poor rural area of America)? I don't understand it at all. I give pretty much everything a lot of thought. It may not be the best or most informed thought, but I try. I listen to people and I haven't lived in a bubble, knowing only those who are "like me". Yet, I still don't understand. Or maybe I do, and I don't want to think (or write)about it.

And maybe that's why I'm anxious. Or not.

Image note: I think this is a beautiful piece of graphic design. Yet, I just wanted to post the word hope without a picture of Obama. I had trouble finding the word in the right font. . .

But, here's a few thoughts: Let's remember this election isn't about Barack Obama. He's not an idol (even I think he's cute), he's not perfect and things aren't going to get instantly better when and if he becomes president. The world is far too complicated for that to be true. He can't do it all for us.

After the election, get (or stay) involved. If you care about health care reform, tax reform, tort reform, protecting our constitution, the homeless, the working poor, the lousy wages teachers get, the war in Iraq, terrorism, civil liberties. . .You get the picture. Whatever it is, Obama is not going to snap his fingers and solve all the world's woes.

Don't get me wrong. I think an Obama win will change quite a bit, but I'm not going to get into that now. It is time for me to go to sleep. See you on Election Day!

Addendum (and yes, I'm still awake, as far as I can tell): I just found a good remedy for pre-election day jitters, 27 pundits predicting an Obama win including Karl Rove , with only one dissenting voice. Who is this guy? You tell me!