TRAILER FOR CHARMING 2010 MOVIE "LETTERS TO JULIET"

With a very charming star studded cast including lovely Amanda Seyfried, Vanessa Redgrave, Gael Garcia Bernal and Franko Nero, romantic film "Letters to Juliet" could be one of the most adorable movies coming to cinemas next year. This lovely story begins when a young American travels to the city of Verona, home of the star-crossed lover Juliet Capulet of Romeo and Juliet fame, where she joins a group of volunteers who respond to letters to Juliet seeking advice about love. After answering one letter dated 1951, she inspires its author to travel to Italy in search of her long-lost love and sets off a chain of events that will bring a love into both their lives unlike anything they ever imagined. You can also check out the trailer for the film which comes out May 2010.

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL FROM YOUR HOLLYWOOD SPY

Hey, believe it or not it is the end of year, it came quickly and almost unexpectedly. Before you all put on your dancing shoes on and go on to your wild New Year's Eve parties, HOLLYWOOD SPY would like to wish you the best and the finest things in the upcoming 2010. :)) Hope it will be a successful year for you, filled with love, smiles, happiness, money, sparkle, creativity ... It already seems that we shall have a lot of spectacular blockbusters in the new year, so I wish you a lot of cinematic joy in the upcoming box office seasons. I hope 2010 will be blogtastic fantastic for you ;)
And to put you in the mood for crazy parties tonight here's Jelena Karleusa, the biggest music star from my country, in a brand new video for her smash hit INSOMNIA, enjoy and dance :)
Love, Dezz

GHOSTBUSTERS 3 TO START SHOOTING NEXT SUMMER

It seems that popular comedy from the 80's "Ghostbusters" will get its third part next year. Summer 2010 is the time when the work on the new installment will start. Here's what Harold Ramis, one of the actors from the original movie has said about it recently: "Something's going to happen. Dan Aykroyd did write a spec Ghostbusters 3 screenplay a few years ago, but no one was motivated to pursue it. Now, 25 years after the original, there seems to be some willingness to proceed and apparently a substantial public appetite for a sequel. We'll introduce some new young Ghostbusters, and all the old guys will be in it, too. Think Christopher Lloyd in Back to the Future ... Ghostbusters 3 is progressing with plans to shoot next summer and release in 2011 ... Oh, and I have two one-of-a-kind Ghostbuster yarmulkes sent by fans."
So it seems that some of the original cast members might be involved in the remake, but the focus will be on a new cast of Ghostbusters. I must say I never was a fan of this franchise, but I did like its popular and catchy music theme.

CHARMING FIRST PICTURE FROM DISNEY'S "RAPUNZEL"

"Movieweb" has just released the first picture from Walt Disney's adaptation of the famous fairytale "Rapunzel". The 3D film is set for release next Thanksgiving, November 24th, 2010.

"Rapunzel" is an action-packed, swashbuckling, animated musical comedy about the girl behind 70 feet of magical, golden hair. A princess stolen from her parents' castle as a baby, Rapunzel (voice of Mandy Moore) is locked in a hidden tower longing for adventure. Now an imaginative and determined teenager, she takes off on a hilarious, hair-raising escapade with the help of a dashing bandit (voice of Zachary Levi). With the secret of her royal heritage hanging in the balance and her captor in pursuit, Rapunzel and her cohort find adventure, heart, humor, and hair... lots of hair.

Odd convergence of memory and current events

Just this week I was re-telling an awful story from my teenage years. This story involved a young man who had been my friend since I was ten years old (or maybe younger). He's now a very public figure, but until this morning, I was ignorant of just how infamous he has become. He is Adam Bellow, the son of the author Saul Bellow, and the editor of Sarah Palin's new book (or as some consider it, his book.) Putting the embarrassment of my ignorance aside, I find this new revelation to be funny. My last encounter with my childhood friend was an exercise in this once young woman's awakening to the cruelty of sexist men, and finding he is one of Palin's supporters seemed more than fitting. Reading his telling of his "conversion" to conservatism this morning also woke me up to how far I've traveled from my roots, roots steeped in a New York Jewish assumed liberalism, intellectualism, and presumption of financial success. My parents had neither status, degrees, or money, but we did live surrounded by all three, and were surrounded by those who had not only those, but Nobel and Pulitzer prizes, wings with their names on it in museums, and chauffeurs (naturally). The chauffeurs were often the more interesting of the bunch, but I digress.

Adam and I were buddies in playing the cello at a young age. He was better than I, but of course; he was the golden boy. He moved to Manhattan while my family stayed on Long Island. Visits were memorable, especially a birthday party that coincided with a solar eclipse. Later, we were both rebellious young tweens, good and quiet kids to our parents, but early party kids. By high school, we had lost touch.

When I was in my first year of college in Manhattan, I was thrilled when I heard from him out of the blue. He was in the city; we should get together. I hadn't seen him since I was in junior high school, but he was someone whom I thought of as a potential lifelong friend. I was thrilled to finally hear from him again. I never once thought of this as a "date" - we had been buddies, nearly partners in crime. But no, once I opened the door to this now young man, I knew things had changed. His face showed it with no reservations. Like other privileged rich boys before him that I'd been set up on blind dates with, I could see his disappointment writ large upon his face. I was a dog in his eyes. Still, he deigned to go with me to Max's Kansas City. By the end of the night, four things had happened: 1. In spite of my status as the spurned ugly female, we had fun talking. 2. He was left without a word after he had found the hottie that he presumably bedded that night. 3. He passed me a joint that contained angel dust. 4. I almost killed my room mate after running home during the near-psychosis that PCP induces.

That night, so long ago, was a pivotal moment in my life. I vowed to never smoke pot again, which was probably a good thing, though no big deal. But I was deeply hurt by my old friend's lack of courtesy (a nice way of putting it). His issues with being the son of a famous philanderer and even more esteemed writer had finally taken hold of his personality, in my eyes. It saddened me. He was such a smart and fun youngster. That person was gone. Why this affected me so is hard to understand, even now. His rejection, however, felt more than a personal thing between us; it was a signal to me that my inclusion in the society of the privileged, though always tenuous, was over. I was excluded by not being gorgeous in the eyes of the hetero alpha male, and my belief in my own intellectual and creative capacities wasn't great enough to make up for my lack in the arena of sexual allure. After three days of PCP-induced psychosis, I woke up to my new status as an outsider.

And now Adam is a figure of great interest, influence, and controversy. He has finally received the kind of attention he craved as the son of a famous person. If it was someone else, I'd say "good for him." In this case, I wonder if he got what he deserved, and I don't mean that with any good will. I was going to say that I'm sorry for that, but I promised I'd end the apologies. But still, I'm sorry to see that this old friend has become a person whom I'd hate to even sit down and have a short meal with. But that'd be no loss to him; in his world, even a bite of bagel between old friends means nothing.*

Image note: I played 3rd cello (the worst) to Adam's 2nd. I have no recollection of who was sitting in the 1st chair. This is the piece of music that drove my playing. I remember happy times as Adam and I played the cello in my family's apartment. Bach may have been great, but we listened to rock and roll, though I can't for the life of me remember what.

Addendum: I had more once pulled down all my nasty posts about Sarah Palin. I wonder, as I re-read this (I did, after all, write it at 4:00am), and wonder if it falls into the same category as that which I had once pulled. I had vowed to not speak ill of others. I appear to be doing that, aren't I? And that which I put an asterisk next to - * - why would I imagine such a thing of this man? Sounds like the proverbial sour grapes. Yet, I'm letting it stand. No more self-censorship, even if it means seeing how I've broken my Buddhist vows. I won't be going to hell for it, and I've started to believe it's better to air this stuff. Don't want anyone to think I'm some sort of saint (I doubt I was in any danger of that). Speaking of which, there's a new feature on Facebook that allows people to answer strange questions about one. It's awful! One person answered three this way: 1. Is Julie a pervert? No. 2. Does Julie break the speed limit? Yes. 3. Would Julie sell you out for $1000? Yes. She was wrong on two counts, but we never knew each other that well.

End of the year shopping

Every year I manage to forget about buying a new datebook until there's only a few unwanted leftovers laying about. I thought that this year I'd be fine, since it isn't 2010 yet, but no, the sales have already started, and today's pickings were slim. I thought I found a nice, small weekly planner, but discovered it is hard to write in because the spiral binding is too big. I'll manage. Maybe I'll stop noticing this after a few weeks, or a few months at most. Maybe I won't, but hey, the way I've been experiencing the passage of time lately, it'll soon be time for a new 2011 planner. Next year, perhaps, I'll buy one in November. Not likely, but I can dream. Maybe I should put that in the date book (written poorly).

This year's selection of post-holiday discount perfume was non-existent. There was nothing at TJ Maxx. I don't mean there was nothing I'd like to buy - there was nothing on sale. Usually, there are piles of beaten up perfume boxes. It's possible that they were already sold, but last year there was lots of it still hanging about right through February (I do remember). I shouldn't whine, actually, for the goods they had displayed, even at a deeper discount, held no interest for me. They were the same scents they had last year: Sarah Jessica Parker's Covet, Juicy Couture, whatever else I had so little interest in that I can't remember. I do rather like Covet, but I snagged at bottle for five bucks last year.

You'll probably be surprised to discover that I do enjoy shopping, up to a point. I enjoy finding a good bargain. I truly enjoy buying new bedding. Nothing is nicer than new white sheets. This year I purchased some amazing 450 count cotton sateen sheets at a local discount store and they are heavenly. They were also less expensive than buying yardage, so I bought a few colored flat sheets to sew into summer bathrobes.

I had originally titled this entry "the disappointments of shopping", but I realized that was dead wrong. No big deal that today I met with no fantastic finds and the dregs of yearly planners. And why is it that one can't find plain cotton turtlenecks in the dead of winter? Is it already time for summer clothing? I feel like I'm beginning to sound like Andy Rooney, so I should consider shooting myself.

No one bought me a gun for Christmas, so don't worry.

I grew up shopping a lot with my mother. She adored bargain hunting. When I was young, I did not. She and I would argue about the relative merits of buying a pile of acrylic sweaters versus one high-quality wool one. My love of wool was something she didn't understand. She also preferred quantity over quantity any day of the week. When she passed away, I discovered she had over 50 pairs of white sneakers in her closet. The number was much higher than 50, but since my memory is failing me, I don't want to claim knowledge of the magic number. It was a bit of a shock. I can't for the life of me imagine her motivations. An Imelda Marcos variety of shoes I can understand, sure, but a closet-full of white sneakers is a mystery that will never be solved (unless some reader has the same compulsion and can explain it).

This post has been derailed by my sudden ambivalence about claiming to find shopping a disappointment. Sometimes it surely can be fun. Of course, there's the fact that money is a problem, my dislike of dressing rooms, long lines, crowds, the "weather" in the stores, and the fact that I always become outrageously tired, no matter how short a time I spend shopping. I like little shops, but they're expensive. Here in Maine, I had loved the small Goodwill stores, but now even they've become huge stand-alone buildings with overly bright lights.

Still, a good bargain is a pleasure, as is a comfortable pair of shoes, clean crisp sheets, fresh towels, and a new bottle of perfume. Shame me all you want - I am a materialist. There are far worse out there than I, so I will not apologize (my no-apology 2010 resolution is already in effect). There it is.

What was the best bargain of the past year? Believe it or not, some really fine Jasmine Green tea at 99 cents for 50 bags, all in a nice round tin. There was also a Fossil chain-link watch that I snapped up for three bucks. Every time I wear that watch, I feel as if I stole it.

Photo note: I googled "Middle Neck Road, Great Neck" for a photograph of where I shopped when I was growing up. This is not an older photo, judging from the cars. Yet, here are two of the many shoe shops that were in Great Neck. This town was crazy for shoes. So was I, and I spent many hours drawing pictures of them as a child, including making dioramas of imaginary shoe stores. Someone should have told me that this was a legitimate job to have as an adult instead of judging my odd interest as somewhat quirky and cute. Alas, more fodder for the remorse of adulthood. Not really. Well, maybe.

Addendum: It occurs to me that a disturbing amount of blog entries in the last year have been about disappointing purchases. The Ikea mattress debacle garnered the most comments for one entry (and I wish folks would cease and desist!) My quick note that a bra designer may have been a sadist caused a flurry of e-mails, a new bra, and an invitation for a private fitting.

By the way, I had made an early resolution at the beginning of this month to stop wearing a bra, or at least one with underwires. After a lifetime of pain, I quit. I've started wearing boy's compression undershirts after tossing a few old sports bras in the trash. Today, I did get a new sports bra that seems promising, but I wonder if next week I'll be kvetching about it. Wonder of wonders! I've just realized I'm real kvetch. Is this something that will change in 2010? I come from a long line of New Yawk kvetchers; I've got complaining in my genetic code, so, nah, I doubt it.

And darn, I should have burnt those bras. It would have been fun, and just so retro. But considering what they're made of, I bet they'd stink.

SCI FI HORROR "NIGHT AND FOG" TO BE ADAPTED FOR BIG SCREEN

It seems that the producers Gil Adler ("Superman Returns", "Valkyrie") and Shane McCarthy are ready to start the adaptation work on sci-fi horror comic book "Night and Fog". Set during WWII the comic tells the story of a Frankenstein-like infectious mist unleashed on a military base that transforms its victims into preternatural creatures of the night. But when the survivors try to kill them, they adapt and change into something even more horrific and unstoppable.
Here is what Gil Adler had to say about the whole project: "When I read this I knew I had to take it off the market. It's a great high-concept that blends the Gothic horror of the Hammer films with the sci-fi horror of Aliens and The Thing. What really appealed to me wasn’t so much the genre trappings, but rather the characters that really drive this story."

BREATHTAKING NEW PICS FROM THE ROMAN EPIC "THE EAGLE OF THE NINTH"

HOLLYWOOD SPY's friend Ted has just sent us some exclusive and totally amazing new pics from next year's historical action "The Eagle of the Ninth" starring Channing Tatum, Jamie Bell and Donald Sutherland. You can see all of them in these new photos: Channing looking very dashing as the brave Roman soldier, Jamie Bell looking positively stunning with his newly found muscles and Donald looking authoritative as ever.

"The Eagle of the Ninth" follows Marcus, a wounded Roman soldier living in Britain during the 2nd Century A. D. Together with his Celtic slave, Esca, Marcus undertakes a perilous journey into the wilds of the far north in an attempt to retrieve the Eagle emblem of the vanished Ninth Legion, which was lost under Marcus father's command ten years before. The movie will premiere in 2010.

One last apology before my resolution to stop being an apologist

I never do make New Year's resolutions, actually. But, if I did, here's what they'd be: Stop being an apologist. Embrace my disdain for American "culture" without becoming embittered. Protest loudly, hopefully without the stridency that turns people off. Do more. Make more. Reject the constraints of a society that tries to enforce normalcy. Finally accept myself for my slippery personality. Finally accept my disabilities while embracing my strengths. Work harder for myself and others. Listen to my inner voice, which is usually "right" and not do what's "sensible", which is usually wrong (at least for me). Speak up for those who can't. Do not live out of fear. Listen more carefully to others.

Did I forget what my last apology is? Hmmm. Oh yes - it's this: Sorry to all of you who come to this blog expecting only interesting tidbits about perfume, crafts, rural life, and nothing "lurid" or angry. There's anger in me. As much as I see the good in everyone (and I do), I have been trying to sublimate the part of me that sees just how much this so-called society hurts many. Assimilate or be punished! I do not live in an urban ghetto of acceptance of all people. If I did, it would be fairly safe to be as I am and say and do what I want. Folks who live in places like I do keep their mouths shut and their lives a secret, for the most part, or have assimilated to the point of being "acceptable enough." To those who don't, my apologies for generalizing, and my congratulations to you.

As part of the "last apology" (though I'm sure I'll make what the 12-steppers call "a slip"), here's a perfume story for y'all:

Way back in the early summer, I popped into Marshall's to check out their often interesting sale table. On it was a bottle of Annick Goutal's Neroli and two bottles of Armani Prive Eau de Jade. They were both $22 bucks. I was basically broke during this time and I figured if it wasn't under twelve dollars, I'd pass. One bottle of the Armani was open and I surreptitiously sprayed a bit on my wrist. Then I got in the car and started driving home.

I loved the smell. I kept bringing my hand up to my nose. I have a predisposition to thinking anything Armani is junk, so I found it hard to believe how much I was enjoying the scent. After driving for about ten minutes, I considered turning around and going back to buy a bottle. I did not. It seemed silly. By the time I got home, unfortunately, I was in love with the scent. So, I called Marshall's up and asked them to reserve a bottle for me. Unfortunately, exactly one half hour after I left, they marked down everything on the sale table to ten bucks and all the perfume was gone (except for the Elizabeth Taylor dreck).

The next morning, I called every Marshalls and TJ Maxx in the state. I kid you not. I'm always looking for a scent that truly intoxicates me and I had done so. I needed it. Yeah, I know it's a type of compulsion. I have plenty of nice perfume. But if you're reading this, you probably know what I'm talking about. I really needed that juice.

Hey, others have much worse habits. In fact, in retrospect, I realize I spent far less on my compulsions than the average beer drinker or cigarette smoker. Ten to twenty bucks a week on fiber and perfume is not much. But I digress.

I googled the Armani Prive Eau de Jade and found many a bad review of the stuff, with comments galore, saying how much many folks absolutely love it. It's a fairly straightforward scent: "A citrus-aromatic scent with notes of bergamot, spices, bourbon vanilla and Tunisian neroli." It feels to me like a strong traditional men's cologne but with more heft.

The kicker of knowing that I could have gotten two bottles for ten bucks a pop if I had loitered in the store is finding out that this stuff is listed for $185 and discounted for about $140. That's out of my league. Pleas for in on MUA produced nothing. Ebay disappointed, as usual. I thought of all the folks who had scooped it up at Marshalls across the country and were now selling it for over a hundred bucks on the aforementioned Ebay and wanted to kick myself and kick myself hard. I also wanted the Goutal Neroli. As ubiquitous as neroli is, I love the stuff, and if I can find anything that is good with neroli in it, I want it. Ah, well, one can't have everything. As for fragrances, there's many I want to get my grubby little hands on that I can't: Nasomatto China White, Neil Morris' Spectral Violet (and many of his vault scents), various Lutens (all the overpriced ones, of course), the new Artisans, a bottle of Chanel Les Exclusifs Cologne. And these are just off the top of my head. I've stopped paying much attention to the perfume blogs, for the most part. The "stage one" symptoms of perfume addiction were relatively benign and easy to satisfy. Freebies and little samples were all welcome. Everything was new and interesting. Now, everything I want is harder to find. The swaps I'm offered on the boards are never met with anything interesting. No, I don't want to swap my Lutens for your Victoria's Secret perfume. And no one has any Ginestet Le Boise, another perfume I adore. How many little vials of it can I procure? I yell at myself in my head: use up what you have! Well, I will.

This short story has become quite long. Anyway, for my birthday, I decided I must get myself some of the Armani. Of all the scents on my lust list, I figured it would be the easiest to find at an affordable price, and it turned out I was correct. I finally got lucky on Ebay where I usually am not. There happened to be three auctions ending in the same hour for the stuff, and one of them was for a refill (which doesn't have the lovely jade stone on top). Sure, I'd love that nice box with the stone, but since I keep my fragrances in the boxes, why should I covet that? I bid $25.01 and called it a day, figuring I'd be outbid and that'd be the end of it. Much to my surprise, I wasn't, as the stoned-topped boxes wound up being sold for close to retail. People want the flourishes, don't they? Good for them, and good for me.

To top off the pleasure, the seller sent it to me priority mail and I got it a day after my birthday. Thank you, whoever you are. I've been wearing it every day since. I can't help myself. I passed it by for Christmas and wore Goutal's Myrrh Ardente instead. Oddly, my once-loved Encens Flamboyant has lost its charms and the Myrrh scent has crept up on me. Okay, add that to the list. My sample vial has enough for one more dose (oh, I mean application).

And so, that brings my perfume update to a close. I hope it softens the new harshness of my blog. Hey, that's me. Soft, hard, nice, cruel, forgiving, angry, understanding, intolerant. We're all made up of contradictions. Some find it intolerable in others and in themselves. Some are blind to the parts of their personality that don't "fit" with their sense of self. I hope, at least, that I'm not completely blind to my faults. I know I can be a bore, that I'm not attentive enough, that I'm both oversensitive and insensitive at the same time (which can be truly confusing), and that I can be overly needy. Need more resolutions? I'm working on it. I think we're all capable of change, even up to the day we die. Most people harden like arteries by the time they hit the grand old age of 30. I am grateful that I did not, and never plan to.

Enough about me. What are your grand plans for the teenage years of the 21st century? I hope this adolescent period will bring about great changes that adolescence usually elicits, and I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I'm right.

Photo note: Self-explanatory, I should hope.

The societal tea of romance that we're steeped in

On Christmas day, I watched and listened as a ten-year-old girl sang and danced along to a karaoke game. The list of songs was "for girls", each one of them a disastrous bit of romantic absurdity. If girls believe that this is what they'll be getting from the boys (or from other girls, for that matter), they are in for a sad awakening. Who is going to tell them that "I've waited my whole life to have this night with you?" The only people who talk this way are players, what I used to call sweet-talkers when I was young, and those guys are certainly not going to perform any of the other rituals of romance that we are taught to expect. The strong hand that cups the soft cheek, the hard shoulder to cry on, the soft words of tenderness, the man who "went to Jared!", the proclamations of love made on bended knee, ex-lovers who have sudden changes of heart and board planes in a hurry, their minds suddenly clear with passion and purpose, the surprises, the aha-moment apologies, the strong but silent types who cry out from rooftops their love, or yell up from the street for all the world to hear, flowers that appear at one's lousy nine-to-five job, hookers redeemed by johns who see them as they really are, Cinderella. . .I could go on for hours without end with the nonsense we're shown, even if we're not even watching. It's impossible to not hear it and see it - all the romance, the promises of romance, the stuff of romance, and then, the inevitable yearning for it, even if we reject it as nonsense. We're steeped in it from so young an age, it's impossible not to become infected with this yearning. We deserve this type of love and if we don't get it, it's because we're not good enough, or not pretty enough, or are cynical and cheating ourselves out of the possibility. Either way, we lose. We all know life is not like it is in the movies, or in books, or in pop songs. Yet, still, maybe. . .If only it was as simple as Santa Claus. Losing our belief in this fairly harmless character is not a huge blow. We never really thought he existed. It was just the make believe of childhood. But romance? Even if we know it's not really like the movies and songs, and even as we scoff at the commercials for this year's model of the banal diamond necklace that speaks of love, we are still taken in. A part of us believes forever. Some become quite bitter. Others resigned. A few, not. Again, who wins? The movie makers and the jewelry stores. I dunno.

Image note: Oh, how I didn't want to put this image up! I made a deal with myself that I'd google the word "romance" and post the top image result. Here it is: married, white (but tanned), heterosexual (of course), the pampered woman with perfect nails who holds a flower, the perfectly attentive man who wants her more than she wants him (she stares out on the scenery, but he is intoxicated by her, and her alone). It's an ad, of course. He's whisked her away to a tropical paradise. . .

"CAPTAIN AMERICA" STARTS SHOOTING NEXT JUNE

An exclusive piece of news comes from "Fangoria" today where director Joe Johnston ("The Wolfman") has announced the production start on "The First Avenger: Captain America" for June 2010. The movie is slated to be released on July 22, 2011.

One of the most popular comics from Marvel "Captain America" follows the story of Steve Rogers who was born during the Great Depression and grew up as a frail youth in a poor family. Horrified by the newsreel footage of the Nazis in Europe, Rogers was inspired to enlist in the army. However, because of his frailty and sickness, he was rejected. Overhearing the boy's earnest plea, General Chester Phillips offered Rogers the opportunity to take part in a special experiment. After weeks of tests, Rogers was at last administered the 'Super-Soldier Serum' and bombarded by vita-rays. Steve Rogers emerged from the treatment with a body as perfect as a body can be and still be human. Rogers was then put through an intensive physical and tactical training program. Three months later, he was given his first assignment as Captain America. Armed with his indestructible shield and and battle savvy, Captain America has continued his war against evil both as a sentinel of liberty and leader of the Avengers. I think many battles will be fought during the casting process in this movie: what do you think who deserves to put on the star studded costume of Captain America?

"STAR TREK 2" MIGHT START SHOOTING NEXT YEAR SAYS ZOE SALDANA

According to MTV who recently spoke with actress Zoe Saldana ("Star Trek", "Avatar") the highly-anticipated sequel "Star Trek 2" will begin its development next year. There is no official news about the precise start of shooting, but according to Zoe, it seems the script is under work:
"I spoke to J.J. and Bryan Burk, his producing partner at Bad Robot, and they are still in the middle of building the script with Alex Kurtzman and Bob Orci, and we'll probably be going into pre-production around this time next year."
What do you say, are you anxious to see the new adventures of the U.S.S. ENTERPRISE? This year's STAR TREK was not only one of the most successful blockbusters but also one of the most lovable movies among the moviegoing audience.

In the meantime. . .

So much to write about. . .disbelief that we're entering the last year of the first decade of the 21st century. . .too much to do. . .the as yet only in-my-head writing of two (or possibly three) knitting books and their associated projects. . .a million yards of imagined yarn, still unspun. . .the continued unleashing of previously unvoiced and repressed thoughts about society and some of it's malcontents. . .perfume, which has gone unmentioned for some time. . .even music, which I write about infrequently. Too much, so much. Ach. Life is too short. So is one day, and when one is still in their pajamas at 3:25 in the afternoon, as I am now (gasp!), how can one even think of keeping up at all? This state is not exactly normal, I assure you. I stayed up until 5:00am or perhaps later and now I'm paying for it in swollen joints and simple exhaustion.

In the meantime, I'm reading a lot. I recommend Michael Warner's "The Trouble with Normal." For an interesting article he wrote about growing up Pentecostal, go here and scroll down.

Photo note: I searched for an image of a woman on a fainting couch and stumbled upon this. The photoshopped-in person is former Minnesota senator Norm Coleman. Since I hardly identify with the uber-female flapper in the original photo, it seemed fitting, all personal references to the individual Norm Coleman aside. I doubt we'd have much in common (but hey, who knows?)

"MERLIN'S" SUCCESS BRINGS THE THIRD SEASON ORDER FOR THE POPULAR SHOW

Popular BBC's show "Merlin" has just ended its second season with the young wizard finally setting free the Great Dragon and thus throwing Camelot into darkness, fire and battle. Starring Colin Morgan as Merlin and Bradley James as Prince Arthur, the second season brought much more magical heroes and villains than the first one, and was a huge success: the first series was a worldwide smash hit and has been sold to 52 broadcasters in over 180 countries, while series two has been sold to more than 40 broadcasters in 165 countries so far, and counting. That's why the renewal of the show doesn't come as a surprise: according to the official announcement, BBC One is going to give a run to "Merlin" for the third consecutive season. The show has been enjoying a huge popularity of about 6 million viewers with 31% share in UK this autumn.

With its mix of magic, adventure, great sets, costumes and special effects plus the charming humour "Merlin" has thrilled everyone including one of the executive producers who explained the reason for ordering the third season: "Merlin is ready to burst back onto BBC One with more action, romance and, of course, magic to delight fans of all ages. After the thrilling finale of the current series audiences will be left wondering what happens next – and with so many of Merlin and Arthur's adventures yet to unfold, we can't wait to continue the story."

Being a fan of "Merlin" I just hope that the new season, next year, will finally reveal more of Merlin's magic powers, and that the whole show will center more on him than on that boring king Uther and his Nazi obsession with eradicating everything and everyone connected with magic and sorcery.

DOC HOLLIDAY IS BACK FROM CINEMATIC HOLIDAY?

Here's a piece of news I forgot to publish earlier this week. It seems that inspired by the success of latest sf, historical and pirate adventures, big studious have decided to make more movies in that style so Paramount Pictures has bought "The Further Adventures of Doc Holliday" from Chad St. John with plans to adapt it into a Western-style tentpole. According to "Variety", the studio is still keeping the plot secret, but the story is described as a history-based action adventure tale similar to "Pirates of the Caribbean". The famous gunfighter Doc Holliday is best known for his friendship with sheriff Wyatt Earp and for his role in 1881's Gunfight at the O.K. Corral in Tombstone.
Westerns belong to the genre I never liked, but if they make it interesting, visually stunning, give some new twist to it, make it grand and epic, and put some great actors in the main roles, I could give it a try. What do you think? Are you up for some cowboy action?

THE AMAZING CREATURE FEATURE FROM "SOLOMON KANE"

Here's a very intriguing featurette on "Solomon Kane" in which the director Michael J. Bassett and others talk about the movie's many interesting evil creatures. Judging from the trailers and these featurettes, I now understand why the studio has been postponing the premiere of the film, which still doesn't have the launch date although we know it will be sometime in 2010. They probably just want to create the hype which this movie might actually deserve. Although it had appeared as an almost B class movie, it seems that it's visual creativity, great actors, amazing sets and stunning action scenes, have all made it a much bigger movie than anyone has expected it. I know many fans are now anxiously waiting to finally see it.
As the first part in a trilogy this is an epic adventure following Solomon Kane (James Purefoy), a 16th Century soldier, who learns that his brutal and cruel actions have damned him. Determined to redeem himself, Kane swears to live a life of peace and goodness but is forced to fight once more when a dark power threatens the land.

FIRST TRAILER FOR JUDE LAW'S SF ACTION "REPO MEN"

In this futuristic action-thriller starring our favourite British actor Jude Law, humans have extended and improved lives through highly sophisticated and expensive mechanical organs created by a company called The Union. The dark side of these medical breakthroughs is that if you don’t pay your bill, The Union sends its highly skilled repo men to take back its property ... with no concern for your comfort or survival: so defaulting on payment results in a fatal repossession. But what happens when one of the repo men gets an artificial organ and then struggles to make his payment, and his repo partner comes after him? The movie is out next April.

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL FROM HOLLYWOOD SPY

Right from the Hollywood Spy's headquarters (in secret location off course, appropriately decorated with Christmas lights) Dezz is wishing you warm, tranquil and beautiful Christmas Eve tonight and amazing Christmas Day tomorrow. Hope you will get many lovely presents and give a lot to your beloved ones. Special love to all the faithful followers and readers of Hollywood Spy who have made this year more beautiful every time they have come around to visit us and leave a comment. A big kiss to you all, don't forget to leave some cookies and milk for Santa tonight ;)

FIRST "SEX AND THE CITY 2" TRAILER

Here's the first exclusive trailer for the next year's biggest female movie "Sex and the City2". The trailer for the anticipated sequel to the popular urban saga, doesn't reveal a thing about the plot. All you can see are the girls looking fresh and stylish as ever, their strange picnic into a desert and someone's wedding. Take a look yourself.

FIRST "ROBIN HOOD" POSTER

Universal Pictures has just released the first poster for the upcoming historical adventure "Robin Hood", scheduled for premiere May 14, 2010. I must admit I'm positively shocked by this cheap looking, totally non-creative poster with Russell Crowe posing with his bow and arrow. I've already said that I didn't like the costumes in the movie either, so I'm afraid the whole film might have poor visual quality. "Robin Hood" brings the new look on the old legend, starring Russell Crowe, Cate Blanchett, William Hurt, Matthew Macfadyen, Mark Strong, Kevin Durand, and Max von Sydow.

"SPARTACUS: BLOOD AND SAND" GETS SECOND SEASON EVEN BEFORE THE FIRST ONE HAS PREMIERED!

Although the premiere of the show is set for January 22nd, "Starz" executives have just announced plans to order a second season of the ground-breaking new series "Spartacus: Blood and Sand". The unusual timing of the renewal, more than a month before the debut of the anticipated show, promises a highly entertaining programme. Shot using virtual environments in the graphic novel style seen before only in cinema blockbusters like "300", the new show, produced by Sam Raimi, has a hyper-realistic look and an entirely new vision of the ancient legend.
Here's what one of the producers said: "We couldn't be happier with the first season. Spartacus delivers on all levels - action, characters, intrigue, romance and excitement. Spartacus is the most ambitious original project we've ever undertaken, and speaks to the commitment to our subscribers to provide truly original programming along with our unmatched lineup of theatrical features. The slave rebellion led by Spartacus and the oh-so-current political intrigue and personal dynamics laid out in the first season provide rich source material for the second season and beyond."
Judging from the scenes circling around the Net, it seems that "Spartacus" will also have some extremely sexy and naughty action and you can expect Lucy Lawless, the main female star of the show, revealing more than you dreamed of. The production on 13 new 2nd season episodes will start in New Zealand in the first quarter of 2010.

The beginning of a long story (and hopefully, dialogue)

vs.

Preface I: Yeah, yeah, so I said I wouldn't post for a while. But, I'm still home, and some thoughts have been spinning around in my head for weeks that I need to start putting words to, slowly, and with difficulty.

Preface II: These forthcoming posts will not be PG, and may be offensive to some. Shall I put up a warning? This is the warning for this post. In future, I'll come up with something, perhaps the mark of shame: "XXX"

Preface III: Perhaps this is only this; my life story, the personal, hidden part.

Preface IV: Something has happened. I'm tired of keeping quiet about anything. Life is too short.

Years back, the first time Maine rubbed up against the ridiculous notion of allowing people to vote to decide whether some people had the same rights as others, as if anyone has the right to do so, one activist said to me in passing "I just don't understand what we're doing wrong." She wasn't asking me, I knew nothing, but in that moment I understood something true - the only people who spoke about "gay sex" in public were those who despised it, at least among the gay people I knew at the time up here in Maine. I said to my friend, "We've got to start talking about sex." She looked aghast. Truth is, I doubt this person was having sex. Her identity was that of a lesbian, but she wasn't a person who had sex with women. She was attracted to women, not attracted to men (I presume), and sex wasn't the issue. Identity was all. She wanted her identity to be accepted, as we all do, I suppose.

Yet, though lesbian sex is not as despised a gay male sex (indeed, hetereo men seem to adore it), how many times have any of us heard the comment "ewww!" when the subject of non-heterosexual sex acts arise? Identity? Fine. Sex. Yuch.* Let's not talk about it.

But I did. When in the laundromat, I overheard a woman I know talking about the "unnaturalness" of gay male sex. She worried that her children, exposed to teachers who performed such loathsome acts, might come to think that they were okay. I knew her well enough, so I asked her if she ever gave her husband a blowjob. She was the kind of woman who wouldn't have minded me asking; it wasn't done for effect. Her answer, "Yeah, sure. He loves it." "You ever take it up the ass?", I asked as a follow-up. She giggled, looked down at her feet. "Well, a few times."

"Y'know", I said to her, "You're having gay sex. Can't make babies that way."

Later that day, she came up to me and said she was thinking of talking to her pastor. Seriously. She suddenly woke up to reality. This didn't make her any more accepting of gay people, oh no, she was now worried about her own sinfulness. Perfect. Get people thinking of what they're doing. We are all not so different.

But, I'm about to contradict that statement.

The thing that's been bugging me for years is that the acceptance of "non-normative" identities are based on the idea that regardless of the identity, we're all the same; we're all "normal." We all want the same things. The truth is, we're not, and we don't. What the hell is "normal" anyway? Normal is this: family, children, 9-5 jobs, "The American Way of Life." Be sexy, hate sex, feel shame, act like a lady, a real man, assimilate, act white but have pride in your heritage, don't be too smart, be well, act respectable, and keep your unrespectable acts a secret.

So, what about me? What's my gripe? I'm not normal. That's not my identity, but it's true. Those sweet ads for gay marriage here in Maine rankled me. Happy families with kids, picnics in the park, parents who are accepting, the wholesomeness of it all. It's fine to be wholesome, but it bothers me - you're okay as long as you are normal. You are fine and you will be accepted as long as you are wholesome. I'm sorry Mainers didn't think gay people who are super-duper wholesome aren't wholesome enough, but folks, straight people are as "unwholesome" as anyone else.

I just lost my train of thought, inserted a sentence. I know this post is all over the map. I'm not going to do a damned thing about it. Here's the thing: I don't fit into a box, have looked around for one but never found one with my name on it. That's fine by me, but as the years of my life pile up behind me, just as society seems more accepting, it also seems more repressive to everyone with it's insane and seemingly endless obsessions regarding sin, redemption, the falling of heroes found out to be revelers in shameful indulgences (hedonism, oh my!), their apologies, our judgments. And still, folks who aren't accepted want in. Why in hell would anyone want in on this mess?

Yes, we all deserve equal rights. Let's just get that said and over and done with. Now, let's move on.

I used to love gay culture. Now, it's not something I understand, if there's a "gay culture" at all (but I live in the hinterlands, so what do I know?). Coming of age, I hung out in the sleaziest bars. It was only in the company of drag queens, bald-headed butch women, men who had sex with men, and the perverse of all stripes that I felt "normal." What was I? Beats me. At school, I was called a dyke, a queer, a weirdo. I had no idea why. I wasn't a tomboy. I loved playing with Barbies, clothes, makeup, all that "girly stuff", but in retrospect, I didn't like it the way girls did. In high heels, make-up, and a skirt, I was in drag. I played a role, had a laugh. The next day I'd be wearing the usual; boots, jeans, leather jacket. But, it was only clothing. Only clothing. So what?

My identity made no sense to me but I didn't think anything of it. Since I could remember, all my friends were gay. I wondered if I was, didn't seem to be. But I knew how to flirt with girls and not boys, the girls liked me, the boys were scared. I got beat up on the street by men a few times. I didn't even live in Nebraska. I lived in New York City. Walking down a street one night with my arm tattoo showing (yes, once it was unacceptable), some tough boys in a car barked insults at me. The next thing I knew I was waking up from unconsciousness right there on 6th avenue, a few blocks from where the more female than me tranny whores plied their trade at night. My companion, a self-professed sissy-boy, said he was relieved they hadn't popped him in the face. I looked so harmless. It was completely bewildering.

I've been gay-bashed a few other times, other reasons, other places. I've been mistaken for being a boy, by gay men and young girls alike, and one time while mowing my lawn in a tight white t-shirt (what guy has 36D boobs?). I've been yelled at by lesbians for being a cunt tease. I was once accosted in a bathroom stall by an actual supermodel (yeah, I'm crowing) and I've been called ugly by men supposedly near and dear to me (and plenty of hetero men who are neither). I've been shamed for being perverse, tried to embrace the identity of "perv", shoved it aside. I'm been asked, over and over, what my identity is. I used to think I was a gay man trapped in a woman's body; that seemed to fit. Recently, when asked, I said "I've just sexual, or not, depending on what's going on in my life." That's not the answer that was wanted. This person wanted to know how to fix me, identify me, quickly sum me up, understand me without knowing me. Hey, that's okay. This is a fast society, and if one doesn't get over the feeling that "no one understands me" by one's late 20's, one is doomed (but in truth, don't we all wish it were so?).

I'm starting to think that the truth is that most people, of all identities, want this about sex (and any other messy things that involve actual body parts): "don't ask and don't tell." Yes, the dreaded ask and don't tell is really okay with everyone when it comes to what people actually do, and not only how they present themselves to others. You shalt not gross out other people with reality! Identity? Fine and dandy. If we claim the mantle of normalcy, of good ol' polite society, we can be free, come out, be accepted. Otherwise, shut up.

To be continued (and, oh my, that's what I leave you all with for Christmas). . .

Image notes: The argument boiled down to media acceptability. "Queer as Folk" vs "The Other" And no, I've never seen "Queer As Folk", so please don't nitpick my choice of television show. The point is simply the imagery.

*And how is it that all of us, when first taught how babies are really made, exclaim disgust, count up how many kids ours parents had, and figure that's how many times they did it? Is this a "natural reaction?" I think not. Our society is sex-negative, and shaming in the extreme, and we are versed in this way before we even have a clue about anything. Children, in our society, are shamed quickly as to what's "down there."

Addendum: I think it's useful to understand that some of these thoughts have been prompted by the fact that for the last couple of years, as I've come to be seen by others as a "quiet middle-aged woman" and not the gender-fluid, heavily tattooed oddball who everyone wonders about (the role I seemed to play in small-town Maine for nearly fifteen years), I realized I felt uncomfortable. So, does that mean I have an identity? But if identity is unshackled from the sexual, and is what or whom one loves, then right now, I guess I'm just a fiber-queer. Is that acceptable? Shall I get start a lobby group? Sorry, I can't help digressing into silliness. It is the season to make merry, isn't it?

Merry, Happy, etc.

Whatever you are celebrating, enjoy yourself. If you're not celebrating anything, enjoy yourself. I wish I had gifts to send all of you (and yes, that includes those of you I don't know). I can think of a few things I'd love to gift every single person in this world (and no, that's not snark - it's a good thought). Can you?

In the meantime, I'm not even together enough to have gifts for all of those I do know. But hopefully, it's okay. The overcommercialization and obligatory nature of this season has been observed on to death, so I'm not going to add to it today. I rather like the lights, and the extra-niceness, even if it comes with a lot of other baggage that I said I wasn't going to go into.

So, a merry and happy Winter to you all!

PATRICK WILSON AND KARL URBAN ARE "HOLLYWOOD SPY'S" MOST UNDERRATED ACTORS

I must say I'm very proud of you since you have shown how injustice is an important issue for you so you came in record numbers (almost 300 votes!!!)and voted for the most underrated actor in Hollywood, or someone who should by all means be the megastar in Tinseltown. The winner is Patrick Wilson taking 44% of votes in a tough battle against Karl Urban who came second with 38% of your votes.
I've always thought of Patrick Wilson as the male counterpart to Cate Blanchett, because he seems to posses all of her quality - elegance, deeply profound acting skills, expressiveness, breathtaking, magnetic and charismatic physical beauty, and above all - they both seem as really good and positive people privately as well. What makes him even more unique and amazing is the fact that all these characteristics are extremely unusual for an American actor (since they are, almost without exceptions, quite cold and mechanic in their approach to building a role). Although the audience around the world knows him best as the kind super hero Nite Owl from "Watchmen", he is usually known as an actor who can give refined, emotional and deeply expressive performances in legendary social dramas: we all remember the way he portrayed inner conflicts and turmoils in "Angels in America", how he positively shined in "Little Children", how romantic and focused he was in the star studded "Evening". Although "Angels in America" brought him nominations for a Golden Globe and an Emmy, believe it or not he has never been nominated for an Oscar, which is still one of the biggest injustices ever. Beside being a renowned drama actor, he's also a great action star who was in considerations for roles in "The Fantastic Four" and "Daredevil", so we'll soon see him in the action flick "A-Team". We want to see him in Hollywood's A list projects.
The most charismatic Karl Urban who always brings great roles even in not so great movies became famous thanks to "Hercules" and "Xena" in which he played the roles of naughty Cupid and powerful Julius Caesar. He is best known for his irresistible magnetism which radiates from the big screens helping him steal the show from his fellow cast members. His casual charm is probably a genetic thing, since he comes from New Zealand. Although he obviously has great acting skills, for some reasons stated above most producers see him as an action star so the list of his projects is dominated by action, sf and epics. We've seen him and absolutely loved him in "Ghost Ship", "Lord Of the Rings", "The Chronicles of Riddick", "The Bourne Supremacy", "Pathfinder", "Doom", "Comanche Moon", and this year he put a smile on everyone's face with his witty portrayal of Dr Bones in "Star Trek". Next year we'll watch him in vampire horror "Priest". We want to see him in big, leading roles which he deserves.

PETER JACKSON DEVELOPING "MORTAL ENGINES" SAGA?

The latest gossip coming from New Zealand says that director Peter Jackson is secretly developing the movie based on the fantasy novel series "Mortal Engines" written by Phillip Reeve. The adaptation of the first book in the series is apparently underway, with Jackson's "Weta" already making the designs for the film which basically follows the story about a series of moving cities. It seems that Jackson has had the movie rights to the novel for some time.
All the books in "Mortal Engines" saga cover nearly twenty years in the history of the Traction Era, a far-future age when cities move about hunting smaller mobile towns and dismantling those they catch for their raw materials. Airships ply the skies, amphibious limpet-submarines lurk in the oceans, and dangerous bits of technology left over from a long-ago war lie waiting to be discovered and put to use in the looming conflict between the cities and their anti-tractionist enemies.
Phillip Reeve has also written another fantasy book "LarkLight" which we wrote about some time ago as the $200 million movie project given to amazing Shekhar Kapur to direct.

HAWKMAN SHALL SPREAD HIS WINGS ON THE BIG SCREEN?

New day, new superhero movie. According to "Pajiba" Warner Brothers and DC Comics are teaming up to bring Hawkman up on the big screen. It seems that the whole comic book adaptation is planned as a mix of "Indiana Jones", "Da Vinci Code" and "Ghost".
Although not extremely popular, Hawkman is an interesting character which uses archaic weaponry and large artificial wings that allow him to fly. Hawkman also has a partner and romantic interest, Hawkgirl who helps him fight against supervillains. He's an archaeologist, adventurer and the reincarnation of an Ancient Egyptian prince. He also has a mystical cloak capable of teleporting anyone or anything enveloped within it folds. His uniform is made of Nth metal which brings him increased strength, speed, agility, resistance to cold and heat, accelerated healing, heightened senses.... What do you think about it? Who could play him? Who could be his Hawkgirl?

Why can't I get a decent haircut?, Pt. II

I looked at the back of my head one last time before I went to sleep last night and wondered if it was possible that the woman who took the clipper to the back of my head did her damage on purpose. I tend to trust everyone is doing the best they can, which includes thinking that no one is being malicious. Obviously, I haven't watched enough reality-TV shows in my life. But, when I look at the mess on the back of my head and realize it started by a flick of the wrist on the part of the beauty salon's manager, I just have to wonder. The woman is so conservative in her appearance (see #9 above for similar style, only much larger all over, and without any irony), and perhaps I overlooked the idea that someone was trying to make my holiday season less jolly on purpose. For all I know, she assumes all women with very short hair are lesbians and she's out to make 'em miserable. I forget how hateful people can be. So, I'm glad I gave the other woman a tip, even though that place didn't deserve a penny, for she needed to be a genius to figure out a way to correct things. She was as bewildered as I was as to why this woman took a clippers and shaved straight across the back of my head (and not perfectly straight at that) about an inch above the base of my earlobes.

So, I was only coming on here to respond to a comment left at the last post, which reminded me of many bad haircuts I've had before. Oh dear. I'm suddenly singing "To all the bad haircuts I've had before" with a Julio Iglesias voice (in my head, of course). I'm always amazed at the songs I've got stored in this brain of mine.

And there are many memories of tips that shouldn't have been given, times I shouldn't have paid, haircuts that were so terrible I went home and shaved my entire head (something I wouldn't mind doing right now, but the front looks quite nice, so I won't), very few memories of anything nice surrounding hair-cutting (and if I think of anything, I'll post it, I promise).

One time I went to get my hair cut when I was feeling quite down. Some people call this a bad hair day, but let's be honest, it's usually an I feel bad about myself day. This was nearly twenty years ago, but I remember it well. I didn't feel like looking in the mirror for twenty minutes, so I asked not to, and trusted that this been-there-forever-everyone-loves-it salon would do a good job of just giving me a nice "pixie" haircut. When the woman spun me around to look in the mirror, it looked like she had cut my hair with a blindfold tied around her eyes. I honestly can't remember what it looked like now. The shock must have given me some aesthetic amnesia (this is pure hyperbole, of course). Anyway, I went over to the library to pick up some books and bumped into two people who asked "What happened to your hair?" It was that bad. I pulled a hat over my head, went home, and promptly called the salon. I wanted to complain to the manager.

This time, I swore, I wouldn't take it in silence. I would complain heartily! With phone in hand, I demanded to speak to the manager or owner, but she wasn't in. "She'll call you back", said the unknown person, who added, "Could you tell me who cut your hair this morning?" Ah. I had forgotten her name. "Who was working here?" I asked. There was a pause on the line. "Oh. Only the store's owner was here this morning", said the girl (which is what they all call themselves in beauty salons, either that or "gal", and "the ladies" (which I've only heard used amongst the dreaded women of a certain age or those who are on the flaming side).

I could hear myself gulp. Now, I had planned out exactly what I would say when I called. I'd demand a haircut from the store owner, who simply had to be competent. Now I was confronted with not only the fallacy of my logic, but the fact that if I did complain, I'd be confronting someone with their ineptitude and my opinion about it. Y'know what I did? Nothing. Well, no, I shaved my head and it felt good. I do love running my palms over a nice even pate of freshly buzz-cut stubble.

Maybe this is why sometimes depressed women shave their heads. They feel like getting just getting a nice haircut to perk themselves up. Getting a nice haircut seems to be a lot less simple than it should be.

Did I even mention that before the bad haircut that was supposed to be a correction to the previous bad haircut, I had had my ear slipped lightly with a scissors, had water forced into my ear at full force, my clothes drenched to the point where they needed to be put in the salon's dryer for over an hour, was left in semi-wet pants and my undershirt under that awful drape, was lied to about what a demi-color would do to my hair, and had my hair dyed a fairly bright raspberry and had to have them correct it? I am not making this up. The woman who did all this had her leg wrapped in bandages; I assumed she probably had taken too many painkillers or something, due to her listlessness (and outrageous incompetence - "Oops, are you bleeding?!". So, that's my excuse for going back to the same place for help a few days later. Well, that and not wanting to spend any more money. . .

Lordy lordy lord (as some people might say). All this about haircuts? Yep.

TAYLOR SWIFT TO PLAY THE NEW SUPERGIRL???

Believe it or not, but that's what one of the hottest gossips says - country cutie Taylor Swift might play Supergirl, aka Kryptonian Kara Zor-El, in the possible remake which currently has a very scary tittle: "Supergirl: The Love Story". Despite having only one movie role in her CV so far (she plays the love interest of another Taylor, but this time Lautner, in the upcoming star studded romance "Valentine's Day")she is currently occupying number one spot on the list of young actresses currently being considered for the role. One of the insiders has revealed recently: "A number of young stars are being mentioned for the title role in a 'Supergirl' movie and possible TV spin-off and Taylor is on top of that list. She has all the right elements to be a positive role model to young girls."
The original film from the '80s, starred Helen Slater in the supergirl costume. The critics hated it and the public ignored it massively, but Hollywood is short of female heroes and this particular one could be appealing to female viewers. What do you think about this? Do we need it? Can Taylor do it? Will Kanye play the villain? :))

Why can't I get a decent haircut?

I needed a simple trim. That's all. Now, I've got a perfectly good haircut in front and a mangy disaster in the back. Looks like a six-year-old tried to use a trimmer on the back of my head. It's mangy looking - just in time for holiday photographs!

I don't understand it. I just can't seem to get a decent haircut. Yeah, I have thin hair, but it's not that thin. I have a few cowlicks, but that's not uncommon. Yet, every time I get a lousy haircut, those things are the explanations for the little disaster that ensues.

The mistake I made this time is going back to the place where I got the lousy haircut last week and asking them to fix it. I used to scold my tattoo customers for doing the same thing with their bad tattoos - "What made you think that the person who did a bad job the first time would do a better job the second?" It seemed obvious it wasn't a good idea. But, I did ask for another person to fix it. That person struggled with the first bad job. Then, she asked for a more experienced person to come help out. That person shaved off my natural hairline, much to to the horror of both of us. Then, she didn't know what to do. I sat in that chair for 45 minutes while three different people tried, in vain, to rectify a few seconds of reckless buzz-cutting. Then, I felt obligated to give the struggling stylist a tip for all her struggles, even though I'm thinking I should wear a scarf for a few weeks.

At least it wasn't a tattoo. This is only hair, and it'll grow back. Now, I just have to hope that people don't take photographs of me from the back or side, and psych myself up for the ribbing I might get about "what the hell happened back there?"

Y'know, all I wanted was a neat back and sides. That's it. Is that so hard? I used to go to a barber instead of a beauty salon, and I always got a great haircut. The barbers I know are all gone. I think it's time to find a new one. I'm plainly sick of paying for a "woman's haircut" when I think I might have been able to do it myself with just as bad results.

And yes, I'm allowing myself to be pissy, a second day in a row. Happy Holidays!

Photo note: This beautiful woman has entire website devoted to her struggles with baldness. I was bald for a few years, had almost no hair for at least a decade, and dealt with other people's unwanted comments constantly. My father thought a woman without hair was an "affront." The bible says a woman's hair is her crowning glory. It doesn't belong to her, though. It is for her husband, and her husband alone. Orthodox Jewish women wear wigs,hats, and scarves so that only their husbands will see their hair. There's many traditions for women covering up, and it's too big a topic for an addendum to this post. Some other day perhaps. But really, it's absurd how much not having hair, for a woman, is a subversion of the male gaze, and can literally cause strangers to do things like insult or even harm one physically.

RESHOOTINGS ANNOUNCED FOR "CLASH OF THE TITANS"

In an interview for "L.A. Times" Sam Worthington has revealed that Warner Bros. is going to reshoot some scenes from Louis Leterrier's remake of "Clash of the Titans". "We're going to be going back and shooting more scenes for it, they cut loose with some money so we can add to it. We're going to be shooting more scenes in January, so we're going to be right up against it, the movie comes out in March. There were some creaky parts but they are the parts that we knew were creaky and that we knew were going to be creaky going into it. The studio is also letting us add some gods and scenes. And they're talking about making the movie a 3D film." Most people think this probably means that the studio didn't expect much from this epic, which is why they've scheduled its launch in March, but after the sensational reactions from the audience and fans who saw the teaser trailer a month ago, they've changed their minds and decided to make this movie their number one blockbuster for 2010. The 3D idea sounds very good having in mind "Avatar's" success.

Eco Chic Clothes Gallery

Eco Chic Clothes Gallery

Diagnoses and chronic illness

I don't know why I was being private about this. I have been quite self-disclosing on this blog. On Friday, I was diagnosed with psoriatic arthritis. After a lifetime of chronic joint pain that waxes and wanes, bouts with all sorts of unexplained and mysterious ailments and illnesses, I have finally been diagnosed with something. And this time, as opposed to other times, it all makes sense. There is no doubt.

Though it's not a fun diagnosis, it's a progressive disease after all, it's something of a relief to have a name and an explanation for what's "wrong with me." Not knowing has been maddening. Of course, especially since I'm a woman, my health issues have been seen by many as hysterical, crazy, exaggerated, non-existent, cover stories for wanting painkillers, hypochondria, plays for attention, a symptom of borderline personality disorder, manifestations of repressed sexual abuse, you name it (and I haven't named it all).

Unfortunately, a lifetime of being told all of the above becomes internalized, and so it is with some relief that I finally know that it isn't all in my head. Quite frankly, it's been hard to understand why I have ever thought it was all in my head when I walked with a cane at the age of 18, wake up some mornings with my hands swollen up or am unable to sit up without support for nearly an hour, have one foot with nerve damage, one eye with a blind spot from an optic nerve hemorrhage, have seen x-rays of deteriorated joints in my neck, back, knees, hands, and feet. . .the list goes on (and on).

Yes, sometimes I get upset, sometimes I cry, sometimes I feel hopeless. Most of the time I do not. Most of the time I enjoy myself more than I think the average person does. Some of the time I am depressed. And I have been extremely depressed, and yes, hospitalized for it.

Y'know, waking up in screaming pain out of the blue is pretty hard on a person. Knowing that it's real and not being able to do a damned thing about it is frustrating, especially when I want to jump out of bed and get to work. In an odd way, just being crazy just might be easier. If I was "just crazy", it could go away! Some days I can't do some very simple things, and not knowing how long that will last is scary. People who know me are numb to being all that sympathetic, it's tiring for them, and I can understand that, even if it doesn't feel good. I'm not saying this to complain; I'm just saying how it is.

Why am I writing this? It's not just for me. It's for all the people who have chronic health problems. Most of us try very hard to be cheerful, uncomplaining, and stoic.

I used to have a good friend, who passed away, who was much sicker than I. Everyone thought she was so happy-go-lucky, upbeat, a near perfect picture of a sick person who "acted normal." She suffered greatly, and in silence. When we got together, we'd have a great time. We'd play dumb card games, and complain at length, sometimes for hours. We knew it was good to complain, and we'd laugh as we did so, something that others could not understand. We also knew complaining meant very little but relieved a lot and annoyed other people quite a bit. She was better at keeping her mouth shut amongst the healthy than I am. She had also learned to only ask for help from other "non-healthy" people and professionals. Doing so was hard on her, and I don't think anyone knew that. She had a lot of fear, and that was another thing most people did not know.

A big thing that contributed to her death, if not the thing, was not knowing whether a new symptom meant anything or not, and not wanting to yet again inconvenience anyone. She thought she might need to go to the hospital, but the person she asked didn't really want to go just then, so she waited, thinking "perhaps" it wasn't such a big deal. That night, she died. At her funeral, this was never mentioned. In fact, I'm not sure anyone has talked about this out in the open. I'm writing it now, because I've always been sad and angry about what happened, and because I understand it so very well. She couldn't get there on her own. She second-guessed that anything unusual was happening. She figured she probably feel better in the morning, and if not, go to the doctor. She didn't make it. This is the truth, the unspoken truth, about my friend's death. She didn't have to die that night.

It's interesting how chronically ill people have to be so perfectly well-behaved about their problems to be acceptable to the well. The epithet "he never complained" is considered a big compliment. Many of those people who "never complained" did a hell of a lot of complaining, but to strangers. And even those who are complainers, like myself, don't complain most of the time. Those time, other people figure we're fine when we simply are not. The days I enjoyed kayaking this summer? Every single time I went out, I struggled with pain. Did I enjoy myself? Absolutely.

I'm glad I have a diagnosis now, but in the end, it isn't going to change things all that much. I'll still have to deal with my health problems, and the truth is I'm pretty good at dealing with them. And sometimes I'm not. Just like anyone. So, tonight, I've had my say. I'm not sure what my point was, but I got some stuff off my chest. I'm sure there will be some sort of fallout from this, but fuck it. And yeah, I cursed. It's a rarity on this blog, isn't it?

Image note: One option is to turn being ill into performance art, a la (R.I.P) Bob Flanagan. But, his pain journals reveal that he suffered more than his public persona let on.

And lastly, just to be clear, I am not suffering. I am "just" allowing myself to be honest, which in this arena, I think I have been holding back from doing fully. And still, I am holding back some. . .